OCD

I'm going to do this a like a little series\diary log. I would take me weeks to tell you everything that i have to do today let alone over the past 14 years. I think it will make it a lot easier for me too, as just thinking about it all can be exhausting. 

 These posts will not be for everyone, mind boggling things will appear throughout the posts, and i completely understand how hard it is to understand unless your going through it or know someone who is.

If you are going through symptoms of ocd or know somebody with it, hopefully you can gain comfort knowing that you are not alone, as with this condtion you feel as though you are the only one.

I know that is going to be long winded and soon much writing, but if your going through something like me, I'm sure you'll understand and hope to find comfort as much as i do writing this.

I also just want to say I'm no doctor nor a psychologist and obviously don't mean to sound like i am. I just want to try and help others as i know how dramatising and crazy it all is. I also really want to try and help myself, I've tried medication a few years ago, I've been to a physiatrist for c.o.p.d which i will go on to into more depth in a future post an thought i would try and get it all my thoughts and experiences out on a screen to maybe help me in some way. To meet and talk to people who are like me, going through the same or simialar things. Because alothough i would never want ANYBODY to have ocd, some of us do and in a non harmful or cruel way its almost comforting to know your not the only one. And it also make you feel a little less 'crazy/wierd'.

I also don't want to offend anybody. Just writing 'crazy/weird' made me query my choice of words. I'm referring to myself not others.

I'm not going to hold back on descriptive words on these posts, if i feel like a 'lunatic' sometimes, i will type that.

I'm using these posts almost like my online therapist.

Of course feel free to read even if you don't have ocd, you may know someone or know of some one where you can recommend my posts or others online to help them in someway. And i know some people just find it interesting to read. 

Because boy oh boy i have some thing to tell you! 

I think i'll post maybe every 10 days or so. Its quite difficult to write things like this down, I'm not really bothered about sharing this online because i know so many other people experience ocd too, i'm quite open and happy to talk about me to anyone to be honest. Its just to write down something you have been doing everything day, something that constantly changes, something that consumes your every day life for most, pretty much all of your life is quite exhausting not only for my brain for my hands too lol!

Just one more thing, these aren't going to be cry me a river while i have a choir of people playing violins for me. I really try my best to stay positive with my ocd. It just sort of becomes everyday life and i just try and get on with it. Yes some days it really takes over my life but i dont want ocd to define who i am. I try and see the funny side of it sometimes because it can be that comical that its hilarious.

But i do know how hard it is and will be deep down series on how OCD can really make you feel, during and after.

My next posts i will tell you every type of OCD I've had over the years and go from there really, explaining everything I've had to do and went through over the years. 

I really really really hope in some way i can comfort you if you are have OCD or know someone who does.

It takes over your days, every second until you fall asleep it affects you. So hopefully i can be your friend and help each other. 

See you soon :)

Exploring

Up until i was 18, i had never set foot in another country. Never been on a plane... ferry.. cruise... a jellycopter. 

A few months after i turned 18 my mother & father in law treated along with themselves myself, Richard (my husband) & one of my brother and sisters in law & their little one to Menorca.

As soon as i realised the plane wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be, i was hooked and i hadn't even stepped my feet on the ground yet.

We only really ventured out into the city once where we had a lovely morning on a tour boat and shopped in the town.

It was sizzling hot all week and

were talking HOT! Each and every day it got a little hotter & unlike here in england its quite a humid sticky hot, abroad its just, HOT.

 I'm now totally obsessed with holidays.

So far I've had my holiday in menorca and my honeymoon in lanzarote which was the most amazing time ever. It was during the easter holidays where the kids would be off & as it was our honeymoon we just wanted a quiet chill, adult time. So we went to a gorgeous boutique hotel and again the weather was gorgeous, the people was so friendly, almost like a different world.

As it was our honeymoon we needed time to just relax after many busy months planning so we ventured out of the resort just a few times.

I'm so thirsty for more. Of course I'm always looking where me and my husband and family can go to sit and lounge by a pool.

But a part of me wants to EXPLOOOOORE.

Different cultures, cities, rainforests, villages, oceans, mountians.

And not just abroad... Theres places in England where theres soooo many places i haven't been to yet that are literally a train journey away.

I've never been to London! LONDON

Some spend hundreds, maybe thousands of pounds to get to london, where as i could just hop on a train and be there in a jiffy.

Heres my 3* destination i would like to visit in the near future...

*out of 100s ;)

LONDON 

It has always been a place I've wanted to visit.

Its somewhere, where i don't need a passport or a huge suitcase and yet i have it pretty much on my door step and its a place where you can explore endlessly.

Each year i'd say right, THIS year i WILL go... and still haven't been.

Sooooo, I'm NEED to go this year, i need to start doing everything i say I'm going to do in 2017.

Of course all the touristy places are on the list.

Harry Potter World, Buckingham Palace, London Eye... Tower of London.

OHHHHH i cannot waiiiit. 

New York

Oh New York, New York.

I know I'm not the only one to have this place as one of there go to places.

How can you not?

So much to do and see to explore and learn.

SOOO much shopping... i mean New York the Shopping Central!

To be honest though, even if i didn't set foot into a bath and body works store, or trot around Bloomingdales i would be one happy bunny! 

To be able to see the statue of liberty, to see New Yorks skyline in real life and not just in pictures, to walk around central park knowing, that Kevin McCallister was in these midsts.

Thailand

Not only can you explore here but as your exploring the beaches in Thailand, it would feel so relaxing, zen and blessed. 

Your getting your exploring and leisurely break in one.

My brother and sister in law went to Thailand for their honeymoon.

Went to all sorts of different places to explore and relax.

Just seeing some of the beautiful areas in Thailand would really make me feel happy. 

What are some of your holiday destinations you want to visit?

Have you ever been to some of the places I've mentioned?

Thank you for reading :D xx

OCTOBER PLANS

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Its October 1st today and i thought i would do a post totting down a list of things i would to get up to this autumnal month.

Dye my hair

2 weeks ago from today i had my hair cut into a long bob.

Its the shortest it has ever been. I must have had around 10-12 inches cut off & it feels so refreshing to have done something new with my hair... not to mention how little time it takes me now to wash etc. 

Have you ever had the chop when your hairs always been long? Do you like it and wish you had done it sooner? I definitely do!

Before i had the 'LOB', i had my hair balayaged. 

So my hair was a lot blonder on the ends of my longer hair, which are all chopped off now. So I'm left with a sort of blondish, auburnish colour all over apart from the roots.

I do really like it, but I'm actually really missing my dark hair.

Now were in October and its autumn, i'm going to dye it all over dark chocolate brown again. I've loved my time being a 'bronde'.

But I'm sooo excited to a be a deep chocolate again to blend in with all the autumnal colours :)

Continue Sorting and Organising

For the past few months I've been trying to sort out everything i own. From knickers & socks to cinema tickets alike.

I've lately been feeling over whelmed with in my environment, when every drawer i open just feels like its full of 'junk'.

I feel so much better about my space now since sorting through things i have. 

I had 2x 5 litre boxes full of clothes, squished to the brim, rolled up to can save maximum space for the next row of clothes to go on top.

Pluuuuuus, at one point of top of those boxes i had around 6! 6!! vacuum bags jam packed with clothes.

Since then I've been working through them getting down a few vacuum bags at time. Eventually getting down to my big filled boxes, this is when i could really start getting down to business.

So far I've managed to fill around 6 BIG black bags full of clothes to give away/recycle.

It feels so refreshing & liberating to know I've let go off all those clothes. 

But i still have looooads that i want to sort. Nicnac things as well soon swarm your drawers.

So in October i want to continue on the journey to a more minimal and organised lifestyle. 

Snuggle Corner

A few weeks ago i decided that i wanted to get rid of my current desk from ikea & ditch a computer/dressing table desk all together.

I had it all planned, a poofe was on the list, i found a little bedside table in our downstairs cupboard doing nothing so popped my computer on that, put up all my autumnal items and fairy lights and was all set.

But its really not working out for me.

Thankfully i didn't get my poofe and wasted money on something i definitely dont need. 

So I've now decided I'm still not having my desk back but opting for a 'floating' desk. Some made to measure between my wall & wardrobe to have my computer and things alike on.

My desk previously was lovely but i just didnt need it anymore. It was too big for my needs since i have been sorting a lot of things.

So in the next few weeks ill be sorting out mu snuggle/cozy nook and along with the organising will hopefully create more space in my room.

Packing Minimal

Over the years, each time i need to use my suitcase/overnight bag, i really try and pack super minimal. Never happens.

I have got better over the years but I'm definitely not where i want to be with it.

This month I'm going away with Richard, both my 2 brothers & sister in laws, on a over night stay.

So this month i need to bring myself together & finally learn how to pack minimal especially for such a short stay.

Im going to limit myself to half a small suitcase.

Yes HALF

ahhhhhh

What are you up to in October?

Have you made any plans for outings or lifestyle plans maybe?

Thank you so much for reading 

my reading blog blooms x