OCD

I'm going to do this a like a little series\diary log. I would take me weeks to tell you everything that i have to do today let alone over the past 14 years. I think it will make it a lot easier for me too, as just thinking about it all can be exhausting. 

 These posts will not be for everyone, mind boggling things will appear throughout the posts, and i completely understand how hard it is to understand unless your going through it or know someone who is.

If you are going through symptoms of ocd or know somebody with it, hopefully you can gain comfort knowing that you are not alone, as with this condtion you feel as though you are the only one.

I know that is going to be long winded and soon much writing, but if your going through something like me, I'm sure you'll understand and hope to find comfort as much as i do writing this.

I also just want to say I'm no doctor nor a psychologist and obviously don't mean to sound like i am. I just want to try and help others as i know how dramatising and crazy it all is. I also really want to try and help myself, I've tried medication a few years ago, I've been to a physiatrist for c.o.p.d which i will go on to into more depth in a future post an thought i would try and get it all my thoughts and experiences out on a screen to maybe help me in some way. To meet and talk to people who are like me, going through the same or simialar things. Because alothough i would never want ANYBODY to have ocd, some of us do and in a non harmful or cruel way its almost comforting to know your not the only one. And it also make you feel a little less 'crazy/wierd'.

I also don't want to offend anybody. Just writing 'crazy/weird' made me query my choice of words. I'm referring to myself not others.

I'm not going to hold back on descriptive words on these posts, if i feel like a 'lunatic' sometimes, i will type that.

I'm using these posts almost like my online therapist.

Of course feel free to read even if you don't have ocd, you may know someone or know of some one where you can recommend my posts or others online to help them in someway. And i know some people just find it interesting to read. 

Because boy oh boy i have some thing to tell you! 

I think i'll post maybe every 10 days or so. Its quite difficult to write things like this down, I'm not really bothered about sharing this online because i know so many other people experience ocd too, i'm quite open and happy to talk about me to anyone to be honest. Its just to write down something you have been doing everything day, something that constantly changes, something that consumes your every day life for most, pretty much all of your life is quite exhausting not only for my brain for my hands too lol!

Just one more thing, these aren't going to be cry me a river while i have a choir of people playing violins for me. I really try my best to stay positive with my ocd. It just sort of becomes everyday life and i just try and get on with it. Yes some days it really takes over my life but i dont want ocd to define who i am. I try and see the funny side of it sometimes because it can be that comical that its hilarious.

But i do know how hard it is and will be deep down series on how OCD can really make you feel, during and after.

My next posts i will tell you every type of OCD I've had over the years and go from there really, explaining everything I've had to do and went through over the years. 

I really really really hope in some way i can comfort you if you are have OCD or know someone who does.

It takes over your days, every second until you fall asleep it affects you. So hopefully i can be your friend and help each other. 

See you soon :)